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 Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 8:06 am |
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| fivepoints |
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| As Christians (those that are posting that are) how can we continue to believe what is clearly opposed to scripture? I have a strong brother in the Lord who was struggling with this very question just a month or so back. It really surprised me... He told me many of the things I hear in this post. He even pointed out that when his father and mother started dating (both fairly strong Christians now) that his mother wasn't even a Christian, and that she eventually came to God and that that justifies a Christian dating a non-Christian. That is pragmatist-based living: saying that if it works out in the end, that your actions are justified. But we must realize that the Bible teaches that WRONG actions that are sinful can be used by God for His good- look at Joseph and his brothers or where Paul, in the NT, says that some preach Christ out of selfish motives, but it does not concern him as long as Christ is preached. Guys, something like this is clearly talked about in scripture- and it has been pointed out- where it says to not be yoked together with unbelievers... Instead of meditating and trusting in this verse and many like it, we have a tendency to want to ignore them and say that we can pray about it and seek God's ok on it- why would God ok something He has clearly told to be wrong- "what fellowship does light have with darkness?" If dating and marriage, the highest forms of intimacy and fellowship, are not to be included in this, what does? We eventually become people who "fall in love" with darkness, instead of the beauty of Christ. Relationships are supposed to be a mirror of Christ and his church. A believer and a non-believer together is not such a mirror. Instead of arguing what COULD happen based on OUR efforts, let's obey what God has said... And yes, a non-believer could come to Christ and He be glorified by the relationship- but scripture is filled with instances where sinful actions and men accomplished God's will despite disobeying his ordinances. And as Christ said, "Whoever loves me will obey my commands." |
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:44 am |
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| JC_Fre4kz |
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uhm...anyway it's in the Bible u see.. I've read it in 2Corinthians 6:14-15.. it's OK 2 be friends with non-Christian, but make sure we don't have deep relationship, because it's risky...  |
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 11:04 am |
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| katalu |
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| i fink its oka s llong as the other person respects ur beliefs and doesnt try 2 tear u dwn |
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recklessly abandoning myself b4 u! |
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| Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 4:43 pm |
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| sweetdreamthinker |
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| Lisa wrote: | | Angelic Mary wrote: | | ughhhhhh I'm just trying to say lol that you can date whoever you want only if that person isn't like all over you and that you like him/her !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol... |
How would that person being all over you matter in a relationship, when the issue at hand here is whether you should only date Christians? Besides, "being all over you" is better than not being a Christian, anyway...Do you agree? |
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| Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 5:48 pm |
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| Josiah |
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| fivepoints wrote: | | As Christians (those that are posting that are) how can we continue to believe what is clearly opposed to scripture? |
I didn't know the word "date" even appeared in the Bible... |
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| Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 1:10 am |
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| Zorio |
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| Disciple4him wrote: | Very good question.
I believe that christians should not date non-christians. Dating a non-christian can open you up to the enemy with the un-Godly things that they can bring into your life. Wether it be music, books, pictures, and the influence of the world because you will want to do things with your boyfriend/girlfriend without being embarresed or to make you like a fool. Another thing is if you get emotionaly attached you won't want to leave that person.
The Bible says.....
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 2 Corintians 6:14.............
Do not be deceived: "evil company corupts good habits." Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knoledge of God. 1 Corinthians 15:33............... |
That's so rediculously stereotypical... here's a bit of information for you.
RELIGION DOES NOT EQUAL MORALITY.
If you think anyone who doesn't believe in God is some kind of blood-thirsty, sex-crazed, foul-mouthed demon, you obviously need to get out more. |
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I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge |
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| Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 1:29 am |
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| Dale |
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| Zorio wrote: | | Disciple4him wrote: | Very good question.
I believe that christians should not date non-christians. Dating a non-christian can open you up to the enemy with the un-Godly things that they can bring into your life. Wether it be music, books, pictures, and the influence of the world because you will want to do things with your boyfriend/girlfriend without being embarresed or to make you like a fool. Another thing is if you get emotionaly attached you won't want to leave that person.
The Bible says.....
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 2 Corintians 6:14.............
Do not be deceived: "evil company corupts good habits." Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knoledge of God. 1 Corinthians 15:33............... |
That's so rediculously stereotypical... here's a bit of information for you.
RELIGION DOES NOT EQUAL MORALITY.
If you think anyone who doesn't believe in God is some kind of blood-thirsty, sex-crazed, foul-mouthed demon, you obviously need to get out more. |
Depends on how you look at things. If you believe in the 5-points of Calvanism, like I do, then you believe in Total Depravity (point 1), which roughly states that we are born evil from birth, 100% gone from God, but through the grace of God and Jesus's sacrifice God allows us (the elect, or if you dissagree with Calvinism, the christians) to go to heaven.
Therefore that would make people who are not elected evil (Romans 9:21 "Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one object for special use and another for ordinary use?" Read on and it talks about the objects of destruction prepared beforehand (as to whether you believe in Calvanism or not, you have to admit that there are good and evil sides to life). As to whether these people ARE foul-mouthed, sex-crazed etc. it is up to the person under examination. They WILL have traits of evil in them, even though they may look good - for example look at what Jesus said to the Pharasees - "You are like tombs, whitewashed on the outside, but full of dead things on the inside" - the pharasees were evil at heart, even though they looked good on the outside.
I hope this has been informative and biblical - appreciate your feedback on my thoughts.
Oh, main topic, I believe that you should not date non-christians - I asked one out, and she said no - tell you the truth it was a blessing in disguise even though it hurt at the time. I praise God that He did not allow me to go out with her. |
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 6:20 am |
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| ponyb |
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hmm...heres a little testimony from me
ive been a Christian since 2001. i struggled with throwing off a lot of my old sinful ways for quite a while, but God led me through. this year me and a Christian girl started to explore the possibilty of a relationship, but after a while and much thought and prayer, we decided to leave it. a few months later, i began to like this new girl at school, a non christian. i asked her out coz i thought i could keep a balance between her and God...but after 2 weeks we had broken up because we found it so hard to communicate. she ended up going through 3 more boyfriends in the following 2 weeks.
i was lost and confused as to why she broke up with me. a girl i knew from school whom i didnt know very well, but tried to avoid coz she was a little annoying decided to step in and counsel me, coz "i looked depressed". i was a little wary at first, but i came to like her as a friend. after a month and a half, she "fell in love with me". she broke up with her boyfriend (the guitarist in my band) and we became close friends, but i was unsure of my feelings toward her, and we went through a time of confusion. however, i too fell in love with her. we dated for almost 5 months. i tried to ignore that slowly and surely i was turning my back on my beliefs and God, living for her and me. i began to become like any old unbeliever: i made crude jokes, said sinful, trashy stuff, and i even went to far with her physically. i did not have sex, but i definitely overstepped the mark, and i regret that terribly. however, our youth group camp and various devotions at youth group challenged me, and i resolved to get out of this relationship that God did not approve of, and rededicate me to Him. i did it the best way i could, about a month and a bit ago, and right now i am trying my best to keep my friendship with this beautiful girl. i love her, yes, but i cant compromise with her and God. she is finding this incredibly hard, because she believes that i am her soul mate, "the one". i feel terrible for building up her hopes for so long, telling her that one day we would marry, then having to tear it away. it hurts her so bad, even more than her abused childhood and broken home does...but not just her. being with her hurt many of my other friends too, some of my best, and im still trying to patch some of them friendships up.
so, in the short version, a relationship with a non-Christian is has bad news written all over it. i thought i could handle it, but God proved me wrong. he knew i couldnt, but i had to learn that the hard way.
my advice is: no Christian, no date.
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when life is in dischord, praise ye the Lord! - "paperthin hymn" by anberlin |
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| Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 3:54 pm |
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| freshstart |
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well yea, if that is going to happen then its not good, but i do not believe it should be so cut a dry, so long as a non christian does not lead you away from GOD then its OK...
for me my non christian b/f-fiance-husband brought me closer to GOD and then he came to GOD as well!
it is my belief that there is no reason why a christian should not see, go out with, marry a non christian so long as it is not detremental to their faith |
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think of me as the journalist |
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 10:03 am |
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| Ms. Snoo |
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short term. sure.
long term, if neither changes their belief, then I strongly doubt it.
If religion is not THE biggest part in the Christians life, then yes, it could work out. Just like some catholics marry jewish people and have a balance between both because their love is stronger then the presence of religion. |
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remember when i was a gay boy trapped in a Christian message board? |
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| Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2006 4:06 pm |
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| freshstart |
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| well it worked for David and I... but of course he is a Christian now... WOOHOO!!!! |
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think of me as the journalist |
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 6:10 am |
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| Rabozee |
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when you start dating a non-christian girl, the chances that you will back-slide is so much greater than when you are with a christian girl. Cause she won't always share your enthusiasm for your church, cellgroup, Youthgroup, prayer meetings etc. But not only with gf/bf's. Same goes for non-christian friends.
I found that if I surround myself with christian friends, my believes are stronger, because we've got summing in common that we can all relate to. And you also know that you must behave yourself. |
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What will people say when they hear that I'm a Jesus Freak? What will people do when they find that it's true? |
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 6:10 am |
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| Rabozee |
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when you start dating a non-christian girl, the chances that you will back-slide is so much greater than when you are with a christian girl. Cause she won't always share your enthusiasm for your church, cellgroup, Youthgroup, prayer meetings etc. But not only with gf/bf's. Same goes for non-christian friends.
I found that if I surround myself with christian friends, my believes are stronger, because we've got summing in common that we can all relate to. And you also know that you must behave yourself. |
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What will people say when they hear that I'm a Jesus Freak? What will people do when they find that it's true? |
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 11:02 am |
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| Ms. Snoo |
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well of course. that is the whole "influence of a group". It does that to you no matter what group you are part of. If you just start hanging out with the same types of people, chances are, if you already have a lil something in common with them, you'll tend to start thinking and acting like the whole group.
I always thought, if Christians are so strong and positive about their beliefs, then why would it be so easy to "shatter that faith" soon as they start hanging out with non-christian people?
Shouldn't you stand by your beliefs and be able to still function, share, live, respect, and just hang out with others?
i know this contradicts itself...basically, i don't see why it should really be important or a problem. If you believe in something so strongly, wether it be religion, politics or just a way of life, a person with different views shouldn't really be the one to break those beliefs so easily unless you are having doubts yourself.
on the other hand, the human brain is easily influenced and it is proven that if you start taking part of a certain group or community, the chances that you start acting and thinking like thos in your group and conform to their beliefs are likely, unless of course you become the black sheep. |
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Last edited by Ms. Snoo on Thu Jan 05, 2006 1:03 pm; edited 1 time in total
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remember when i was a gay boy trapped in a Christian message board? |
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 11:40 am |
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| aya |
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Well i'm going out with a non-christian and i can clearly say that he has not made me "backslide" as people put it... i know that he would respect what i believe and he wouldn't push me to do anything...
So i really think there is nothing wrong with dating non-christians at all... i prayed to God a lot for someone to come into my life that i could love and whatever...and he came along...if God didn't want us to go out with non-christians, if it was soo forbidden, then why would he have sent my guy? |
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The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. |
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 11:44 am |
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| aya |
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also anybody ever seen the movie a walk to remenber??
If not here's a quick summary...
The popular guy in school, Landon Carter, is into all the drinking and bad way of life...he has to do all these things in the school as punishment for drinking on school property. He is constantly being thrust into the company of the Pastor's daughter, Jamie. He ends up actually falling in love with her and although he never does become a Christian, she completely changes him and is a really good influence and at no time does her Father "forbid" them going out but only frowns upon it and he's the Pastor.
Ok i know this is only a movie...but it is an example... |
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The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. |
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 12:15 pm |
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| For crying out loud it seems most Christians on here have been wrapped up in cotton wool all their lives. I live in a town in England where your almost looked on with disgust if you claim to believe in any God. All but one of my friends are non-believers. The most important thing is love! If they are trustworthy and you know them well then why not date them? I mean you only need to turn on the TV and watch a sports advert for you to see the bad side of people. We're human as much as non-believers are. Sheesh... sorry I don't know where that came from. |
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 2:25 pm |
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| freshstart |
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| Rabozee wrote: | when you start dating a non-christian girl, the chances that you will back-slide is so much greater than when you are with a christian girl. Cause she won't always share your enthusiasm for your church, cellgroup, Youthgroup, prayer meetings etc. But not only with gf/bf's. Same goes for non-christian friends.
I found that if I surround myself with christian friends, my believes are stronger, because we've got summing in common that we can all relate to. And you also know that you must behave yourself. |
that just depends on your own strength... |
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think of me as the journalist |
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 2:26 pm |
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| freshstart |
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| Water Rock wrote: | | For crying out loud it seems most Christians on here have been wrapped up in cotton wool all their lives. I live in a town in England where your almost looked on with disgust if you claim to believe in any God. All but one of my friends are non-believers. The most important thing is love! If they are trustworthy and you know them well then why not date them? I mean you only need to turn on the TV and watch a sports advert for you to see the bad side of people. We're human as much as non-believers are. Sheesh... sorry I don't know where that came from. |
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think of me as the journalist |
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| Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 3:31 pm |
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Okay now I've read some more posts I now know why there is such a void between non-believers and believers. No wonder half of them do not want to know what we have to say. It seems some of us are stuck so far up our own ***** that we forget to look at it from a non-believer's perspective.
Look many people out there (especially in this town) don't want to know Christ at all... in fact they almost hate the idea. They've built up stereotypes of what being a Christian is and as much as I hate to say it a lot of the posts on this confirm their views. Guys and gals why can't you just date others and keep your own beliefs and lead by example? Surely if we claim to be followers of Christ we can resist falling into sin even when we're deeply involved with someone who doesn't share our beliefs? If they love you then they should respect your beliefs and not try to change you.
I guess many (NOT ALL before I get flamed for generalising) of users on this site haven't lived most of their life in sin and so only have their own squeaky clean experience to go on. I've lived with and as an atheist most of my life (and my language isn't giving you a high opinion of me) but there are still good people out there who don't share our beliefs... does it make them bad? No! Does it mean they will change us? Probably yes since that's what being in a relationship does. Will it be a change for the worse? Only if you let it! Sorry I'm a little mad and am shocked at how closed-minded many people (NOT ALL of you) are. |
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