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 Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2003 5:56 pm |
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| Mikalee |
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How old do you think someone should be before dating? Does it matter if it's serious or casual dating? Is casual dating ok?
When answering these questions, think about how you'd feel when you have kids that are going to be dating.
One last thing, what's really the point of dating? Especially if your not of an age to think about marriage? |
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| Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2003 9:19 pm |
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| Journey |
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Age:24
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Hi! I'm new here, but I like this topic. I'm just going to write my opinion and am open to listen to constructive criticism.
Ok.. so to your first ?.. I don't think people should date until they're old enough or are ready to get married.
No, I don't think casual dating is ok, I mean it messes with your heart and emotions too. Waiting on God to bring the right person along is a great things to do!
The point of dating is to find the person you will someday hopefully marry. But still I don't think you should have to look.. God will plop that person right in front of you and you'll just know! |
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| Posted: Sat Mar 22, 2003 2:32 pm |
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| Mikalee |
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| Journey wrote: | Hi! I'm new here, but I like this topic. I'm just going to write my opinion and am open to listen to constructive criticism.
Ok.. so to your first ?.. I don't think people should date until they're old enough or are ready to get married.
No, I don't think casual dating is ok, I mean it messes with your heart and emotions too. Waiting on God to bring the right person along is a great things to do!
The point of dating is to find the person you will someday hopefully marry. But still I don't think you should have to look.. God will plop that person right in front of you and you'll just know! |
First of all, Welcome Journey 
As for what you said, I basically agree with you. But, there are some questions as to how practical this idea is.
Some people would say "How would you know who God has chosen for you if you never give anyone a chance?"
And, in a way, I think it's a valid question.
For example, we could commit everything we do to God's hands (literally), and just say that whatever is meant to happen will happen. So, for example, say you need a job. You can sit at home and say that God will bring it TO YOU.
I know I'm exagerating your point, I'm just playing the devils advocate here.
So, then, I guess you could ask how you would know when a particular person was sent from God or not. (since our emotions help us make that decision a lot of times, we need to be really careful).
And, would you even know if that boy/girl is sent from God if you never get to know them??
(I'm not entirely sure what my own opinion is...I just like asking questions  ) |
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| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2003 3:03 pm |
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| Journey |
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| Joined: 20 Mar 2003 |
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Hello!
Those are great questions! You know what would be funny?.... You answering your own questions. 
Well of course we have to give a person a chance and yes, our emotions do play an important role in our decision making. I believe my point was just as you stated: We have to be careful. God does lead us to the right person some how I'm just not exactly sure how to explain it. Here's a try at it.. you don't want to hound on someone and pursue the shoes off someone just because you think they look great.. you do have to get to know the person. I hope that clarifies it a little.
Haha.. yeah we do have to look for a job every once in a while, but sometimes we just know when some just don't fit us. So we look, but we just sometimes don't know and pray about it. |
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| Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 5:26 pm |
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I think that you should be able to date freely and whenever you want, and i think casual dating is allright because you have to look for the right person, as you have to look for the right job.  |
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_________________
Prayer Is Like A Wish But 1st Think About Praying That Prayer With Your Heart |
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2003 12:27 am |
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| Victor |
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| new_christian wrote: | | I think that you should be able to date freely and whenever you want, and i think casual dating is allright because you have to look for the right person, as you have to look for the right job. |
Uh... actually the term "Casual Dating" implies that you are not looking for marrage but rather just fun. Courting on the other hand would mean that you are dating with intent to marry. Personally I really stick to the courting thing. I don't really think there's anywere that says you can't but I just don't think it's worth it. Call me old fashioned or whatever you want but I am too focused on God to do any of that junk in High School. I am struggling to live day to day trying to be as impactful as I can in my Christian walk. I still REALLY gotta work on it. I don't feel that I need casual dating at all in my life. When the time is right, yes I will court and begin to look for a significant other. But I don't high school's the time at all. |
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2003 9:58 am |
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| Mikalee |
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Its so refreshing to see people that are after God's heart! Thank God.
I pray that we can all live by those words (I don't mean not dating necessarily, I just mean having our focus in the right place and not letting other things hinder it). |
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2003 5:25 pm |
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| Victor |
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| I just hope that I can live up to what I say. Honestly though... it's a lot easier that dating is not a priority in my life. |
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| Posted: Sat May 17, 2003 11:20 am |
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| Mikalee |
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| Victor wrote: | | ... it's a lot easier that dating is not a priority in my life. |
And it's a lot easier for dating not to be a priority in your life if you never started. |
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| Posted: Sat May 17, 2003 8:34 pm |
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| Victor |
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So your are saying it's a Pandora's Box? Once you have dated it becomes a priority in your life which you can't put away? So... if the above was true that we can conclude that a good age for dating is when you feel that you are able to let the relationship go as far as marrage?
Personally... I am all for the courting only thing. That pretty much means that you do not date unless you expect the relationship to end in marrage. |
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| Posted: Sat May 17, 2003 8:41 pm |
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| Mikalee |
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| Victor wrote: | | So your are saying it's a Pandora's Box? Once you have dated it becomes a priority in your life which you can't put away? So... if the above was true that we can conclude that a good age for dating is when you feel that you are able to let the relationship go as far as marrage? |
Exactly (I think I also explained that above).
The only thing is not to misunderstand that just because you are of age to have a serious relationship doesn't mean you marry the first person you date.
What I mean is, you may be old enough to 'court' but that doesn't mean every person you date you will be able to marry. It's just that you WOULD BE ABLE TO get married in case you did meet the right person.
Make sense? |
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| Posted: Sat May 17, 2003 8:59 pm |
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| Victor |
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| Yes... that was what I was saying. I did not say to marry the first person you date. But only enter a relationship having the intention of something more serious rather than something just for fun. |
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2003 8:16 pm |
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| lindzq |
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To bring back a not so recent topic:
I was set with the age of 16 as my "dating age"-- it seems to give a teenager time to get to know who they are and form the basis of personal convictions (though I am fully aware that many change!) Going on personal experience here. I had a while to go when I set my convictions about dating ect... and I have grown much closer to God and been able to form relationships that I, otherwise, woudln't have formed if I was too concerned about dating. Which leads to another problem with dating before called to: too often, as humans, we lose to focus of life and God, and make ourselves the focal point of life. "I am so ugly, no one likes me, thats why I don't have a date" or "I wonder what he/she thinks I look like when I wear this" -- it should be about God and His will for a realtionship. (I don't know if I articulated that well, but I will see I suppose.)
I don't see why anyone would date "casually" or even "seriously" without the intention of marriage... it is just more tempting. I also don't see the difference between dating and courting. What makes one better than the other? As Christians, if "dating" doesn't lead to marriage, why date at all?! Just curious. I think they are the same things, because one can "court" and do the same thing as a couple "dating"-- I'm just not seeing it here, just different terms. I'm not dating right now, life is much less confusing. I feel that God is calling me to be single, and I like that. When he calls me otherwise, I think I will like that too! God should be the center of all relationships, and if one is not solid enough in their faith (or maturity) to hold a Christocentric relationship, then I don't believe one should be in a realtionship. |
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2003 8:22 pm |
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| Victor |
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| VERY few people have marrage on their minds at 16. If your aganst dating for "fun" I highly suggest you wait till much later. How old are you Lindzq? Speaking as a teenager... people who are mature about dating and manage to keep focused on God are SOOO rare... they are few and far in between. The chances of 2 of them meeting are small. As a teenager, a 16 year old grade 11 student. I'd tell you or anyone my age to stop thinking about dating and try to put your priorites stright. I have seen too many people pulled away from God by doing stupid things like dating. |
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2003 8:26 pm |
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| Mikalee |
| Site Admin |
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Very well said lindzq (yikes try saying that 10 times in a row)...
As far as why would people date? Cause it feels so good! And everyone else is doing it.
Obviously I agree with you about NOT dating until you are ready to think seriously (as I've already said), but, I also know it's a lot easier said than done.
P.S.
| Quote: | | "I am so ugly, no one likes me, thats why I don't have a date" or "I wonder what he/she thinks I look like when I wear this" |
You forgot the most famour girl saying "I'm soo fat!"
lol |
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2003 10:47 pm |
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| lindzq |
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I am sixteen. My views have greatly been influenced by my upbringing and intelligence. Lol, marriage is only on my mind, knowing that it is far from now. I know God hasn't called me to date yet- and for that I am thankful. I woudln't be who I am if I were caught up in the "dating world"
I think... that there are plenty of "mature daters"- but only according to the world's standards. Mature CHRISTIAN daters is another story. In my school, I could count them on ... three fingers. My best friend, his friend, and myself. Needless to say, I've spent many nights crying and praying over friends who have pulled away because of dating. I remember being so bitter because my best (guy) friend had gotten a girlfriend, and began to hate me, because his girlfriend was jealous. So it affected me also. It took a miracle and many more tears to help bring him back, but he is, and i am thankful.
God has so much more in store for me. Whether it br marriage, or a greater calling- it is His will that I am after, and at the moment dating is not it. (lets see how many ways I can say that I certainly have no intentions of dating  ) As for the chances of meeting someone similar in dating beliefs as myself, I think that if it be God's will, I trust him with it. I don't need to worry about it quite yet. (btw, if | Quote: | | I'd tell you or anyone my age to stop thinking about dating and try to put your priorites stright |
implies that you don't date, I can add one more to my list - though not physically meeting.)
As for easier said than done, I know for a fact that we have complete control over sin. God doesn't want us to sin, therefore why would he MAKE us... kind of where the free will issue comes to play-- BUT as good as dating may feel, how much better the gift that God offers is! We must realize and be absolutelyCAPTIVATED by God's love story for us. One needs to have an intensely personal relationship with God... If God is number one in one's life, who would want to be dragged away by the world's way of dating? If waiting is an issue, I completely understand. Patience is something that I struggle with at times, but God gives me strength... also-- in the book "I kissed dating Goodbye"-- the author makes references to a saying of his mothers: "Hustle while you wait"-- if you are waiting to be called by God to date, or married, or just waiting for something-- go out and serve God! Serve him in your community, church, missions, anything! But also serve him with your minds and actions. Keep your minds pure, and try to guard the hearts of others. We talk about the decaying moral values of society, yet we as Christians go about wearing revealing or tight clothing-- causing fellow brother's minds to stray from what they should be thinking about to our bodies, which more times than not, leads to less than acceptable thinking 
lol, I do I look fat? haha how could I forget? |
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2003 11:05 pm |
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| Victor |
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| Joined: 15 May 2003 |
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Age:23
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| Location: Ontario, Canada |
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| hmm... from what you said it appears that you also disaprove of dating at our age. Is your "Dating Age" still set at 16? or have you finally resigned to date only when you find someone at the right time? |
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| Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2003 11:22 pm |
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| lindzq |
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| My dating age is resigned to when God shows me when the right time is. My parents are very pleased with this... but still set their minimum age at 16 for my younger sister. |
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| Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2003 5:15 pm |
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| Angelic Mary |
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| I don't think im old enough yet...I don't think im quite in the age..im only 12....13 you can count me at that but I don't thik im gunna even look at a boy in that kinda way is at least 16-17....I knoe thats a lil to old but I want to consentrate on my work for now...because I've tried dating and it ruined me...and I regret it....so i thik im still going to wait.. |
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?¿»†[[м.д.я.γ]]†«¿? |
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| Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2003 9:02 pm |
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| Victor |
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Age:23
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| Location: Ontario, Canada |
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| 12/13 is WAY too young... your not missing much anyway... |
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